When I was between the age of 11 to 15, I was completely obsessed with what people thought of me. How I viewed myself was based entirely on other people's opinions and whenever I heard that someone had said something nasty about me, it would utterly destroy me - my self esteem would plummet and it would take me a while and a whole lot of strength to stand back on my own two feet again. Looking back on it now, I can't help but question what it was that made me feel this way - as though the opinion of others was more important than my own, and thinking about it completely baffles me.

I've touched on this in my 'Why do we find it impossible to love ourselves' post (here), but the pressures that we, and I say this from a teenage perspective, face on a daily basis are just extraordinary. In a world where we're told to 'love ourselves', yet slated for being vain, it seems as though you have to show a measured amount of a certain characteristic, yet if you either exceed or fail to meet the limit then you will be denounced. It's a constant, vicious cycle yet I find that the less you care, then the happier you will be.

I'm not too sure if it's just coincidence, but since starting up my blog again I've noticed how much I've grown in confidence. I remember when I first published the 'Finding Happiness Again' post (here) and I had to turn my phone off for a couple of hours because I was honestly terrified about how other people were going to respond to it. Something I've always been very worried about is looking as though I'm demanding sympathy or attention - which I hope you all know is definitely not the case. I want to share my experiences, yet not because I want you to feel sorry for me - but because I want you to see how I have learnt and evolved from them.

So, going back to what I was talking about before, (sorry, but you should know by now that I tend to ramble on with myself) once I worked up enough courage to actually go on Instagram, which is where I first 'advertised' that post, the biggest amount of relief washed over me - people actually enjoyed it! I have received the most amazing amount of support with every single blog post that I do, and every message I get puts the biggest smile on my face ... I honestly don't think I can explain how happy it makes me. Also, that post is going to be (!!!) published (!!!) in a magazine at my local church - my first published article, something that I have been dreaming of for a very very very long time! That may not seem like a big deal to people, but it honestly means the world to me.

Doing things that scare you or make you nervous usually turn out to be the best things you ever do. However, even if it does all go a bit tits up, then you can learn and move forward from that and therefore see what you would do differently next time. What's the worst that could happen?

There's a very fine line between confidence and arrogance, and that's one that I'm always careful not to cross. Yes, people's opinions don't bother me entirely, but I'm never going to be one of those people who are downright rude and nasty towards others and careless about the consequences that then develop. I mean it more in the sense that I can be who I want, wear what I want, write what I want and say what I want because I know that that's who I am. If people like it, then that's great, but if they don't - then I'm not going to lose any sleep because of it.

I know people who can't even deal with someone looking at them in a weird way and, in all honesty, I used to be one of those people. If someone would laugh or whisper in close proximity to where I was, I would assume it was at my expense, and that would, without a doubt, ruin my day/week/month/year/life. Now if I notice someone doing that, it doesn't even cross my mind ... if they are laughing at me, then they have ever single right to do so - I'm a right idiot and I laugh at myself anyway so they're just saving me a job.

Being opinionated isn't being bitchy, and I don't think I can stress that enough. I find it very difficult to sit and agree with someone's opinions when I know in my heart that I completely disagree with them. If I don't like something, I WILL say it and, if I'm completely honest, it's written all over my face anyway. I definitely struggle to conceal how I'm feeling - which I guess is both a blessing and a curse. At the end of the day, not everyone is going to agree with everything, and no matter what is considered the 'social norm', if you don't agree with it, then I think you should speak up. Nothing is ever going to change if you sit down and wait for it to happen because you're too worried about how other people are going to perceive you.

You will never meet the same stranger twice, remember that. If you're too scared to have fun or act like an idiot in public, then just remember that there's a very slim chance that you will ever see these people again ... unless, say, it was at the school which you attend every day (and even so, I'm sure there's waaaaaay more drama going on than just silly old you being a bit of a weirdo). If you have goals and ambitions, you shouldn't hold them off because you are scared of how others are going to take it. At the end of the day, and please excuse the cringe here, you are in control of your own destiny so you have every single right to live your life the way you want to. By doing this blog, I am that one step closer to achieving my dreams and I am honestly so glad that I bit the bullet and clicked the 'publish' button when I did. Having this space is so important to me, and you know what - I'm proud of it. I don't want to be ordinary, passive or boring - in all honesty I want to make an impact, and I know that in order to do this then you need to put yourself out there. Opportunities don't just come running to you, you have to go and find them yourself.

To sum everything up, I just wanted to say that no other opinion of you is more important than your own. If you are happy with who you are and what you're doing, then everything else simply doesn't matter.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and I'll see (?/speak?/write to?) you next week!

Love,
Grace x

It's that time of year again, when it seems like summer was a million years ago and you are currently drowning in school work. UCAS application forms, coursework drafts, EPQ research and revision are all looming above us, acting as a constant reminder that we ALWAYS have something we need to be doing.

Now I'm not going to lie, I'm usually a very relaxed and chilled out person, but once I get stressed there is absolutely no going back. I'll burst into tears at any given moment, find it difficult to go to sleep at night and have constant stress headaches which make my eyes feel heavy and sore.

When asking people what kind of blog posts people would like to see, I got a fabulous suggestion asking me to write about 'How to destress'.

Obviously, I'm no expert on this subject - I'm a 17 year old girl and not trained in this field whatsoever - but over the years I have definitely learnt a few ways to cope when I'm feeling like my head is going to explode because of how many things I need to do.

So, lets get into it ... shall we?

1) Organisation
I personally think this is the most important one. If you keep yourself organised then there is definitely a noticeably smaller chance of you getting stressed. To do this, I have a planner where I write down all the things I need to do, and when they need to be done for. I know that a lot of people reading this tend to just take pictures of the homework that they need to do, and I used to do that too - but how many times have you forgotten to look at your phone and realised last minute that you have a piece of work due? I honestly think that is one of the worst feelings ever. (I've realised that that makes me sound like such a huge nerd, and obviously it's not the end of the world if you haven't done a piece of work, but that panicky feeling you get when you haven't done something that you really needed to is just horrendous ... in my opinion anyway).

Writing lists of what you need to do on that specific day is also a very good way of staying organised (my mum taught me this trick :D). I always find that once you've written down all your tasks, then it doesn't seem half as much as you thought you needed to do when they were circling round inside your head. Ticking off the chores after you've done them is so satisfying, and also so rewarding when you've reached the end of the list and you know that you can spend the rest of the evening just relaxing and doing whatever you want to do.

Keeping your folders organised is also oddly satisfying. Being highly stressed anyway, and then trying to find a piece of work in your giant mess of a folder is certainly not a good combination - and one that, for me, usually results in tears. Making sure that all the work you've done that day is slotted into the right section of your folder will make it easier to locate and make it so much easier when you come to revise that topic for your exams. (the dreaded 'e' word). I'd love to say that I consolidate my notes every week and produce beautiful revision notes - but I'm going to be completely honest and tell you that just doesn't happen. However, when you have any free time (which is a rarity, lets be honest) that would be useful to do as it lifts a huge weight off your shoulders, and makes you feel like you've been very efficient.

Again, something else I learnt from my mum, is the expression 'tidy room, tidy mind'. Whenever I'm working in a space that is clear with everything is in the right place, I always feel a lot more organised. I tend to do my work at either the kitchen table or at a desk, mainly because I know that if I sit on my bed or in my room doing it I feel way more tempted to go on my phone or browse the internet. Keeping my room spotless is something that I am trying to work on, because it's so annoying when I come upstairs after having done a couple of hours of work to find that I now have to tidy my room in order to be able to relax later on. Once everything is tidy, I feel that I am more in control and on top of things.

2) Make time to do what you want to do
When you're submerged in an endless plethora of work, it can seem like there will never be any time for you to go out with your friends, or even watch a TV show that you've been wanting to watch for a long time. Something that particularly heightens my stress levels is when I get bored of just sitting inside and doing work, and begin to long for the life that I had before A levels began (I guess some would call me dramatic). Taking breaks in between doing work is completely necessary, and is actually proven to improve your concentration for when you go back to doing the work. When I was revising for my GCSE exams, I used to make revision timetables where I would be revising all day every day - which looking back on it now, really wasn't healthy. If there's something that you really want to do on a particular day, they schedule your work around it - as, at the end of the day, you'll probably regret it if you don't do it.

On weekdays, I always leave at least an hour and a half to do things I want to do other than work. Usually this entails making a green tea and watching either a few episodes of The Vampire Diaries or browsing YouTube for Benedict Cumberbatch videos (I'm not even sorry). Can we please just have a moment of silence for this one. Also, I have recently starting going back to the gym again, which I found one of the best ways to combat stress. Usually I blast my music (in my headphones so no one knows that I'm actually listening to JLS) and channel all my stress into the work out. Also, side note, I'm definitely not a fitness expert and have about as much muscle as a twig but that lets just ignore that part.

3) Breathe
I feel like this one is really weird, but does anyone get so wound up that they actually forget to breathe? (Please say that it isn't just me, otherwise that would be extremely awkward).  For other weirdo's like myself, I found an fabulous app which always helps when I'm feeling extra stressed and wound up called 'Calm'. When you first download it, it'll ask you what your three main goals are - so for example, I put 'reduce stress', 'improve focus' and 'better sleep' and you can then either click the option to go on the free '7 days of calm' program or some unguided/guided meditation. The woman's voice is so calming, and after I listen to it I definitely feel a lot more relaxed - it's amazing what just some guided breathing can do. It also reminds me of when we used to do yoga at primary school, and after we'd done the five minutes of relaxation at the end people used to fall asleep - which is something that still makes me laugh, almost 7 years later, when I think about it. (I really need to get a life, don't I?)

Well, that's all for now, but I hope you enjoyed this post and that it helps in any way that it possibly can. If anyone would like to offer any suggestions for what they'd like to see a post on, then I would love to hear from you!

Thanks for reading.
Love,
Grace x

Last year my family and I completed the Twilight Walk in Chester which is run by The Brain Tumour Charity, and were even more determined to complete it again this year. (Find last years blog post here).

 

For weeks I had been worrying about doing this walk, as I knew that this year it would be especially tough (..emotionally, as physically it wasn't a humongous challenge - yet I'm certain my Uncle Paul will disagree). The thing is, you can tell yourself countless times that you're going to be strong, yet sometimes your emotions really do just get the better of you. You can't prepare yourself for anything, which is a lesson I have learnt this year, and you never know when your grief is going to hit you.

I think what got me so upset was the fact that I was surrounded by people who have been affected by brain tumours - either they had been personally affected themselves, or they had watched someone they love and admire fight this strenuous battle. A room filled with pain, grief and heartbreak, but the atmosphere was just indescribable. The strength that all of the people taking part in the walk had was tremendously inspirational, and I was honoured to be walking amongst them.

Now, lets move on from the doom and gloom - because that's not what this blog is about. Positive thinking and making the best of things is what I want to encompass here ... so let's begin.

I mention this is pretty much every single post, but I can't stress the importance of it enough. The people you surround yourself with can either make or break you. My fantastic friends and family joined me in Chester and I genuinely could not be more grateful that they were there. Their support is endless, and they can make me laugh and smile even when I feel like that isn't even possible.

Chester is a beautiful, beautiful place and luckily the weather stayed clear for about 90% of the walk - apart from a 15 minute blast of rain, which all added to the fun. Walking and talking made the stroll feel like it lasted about .23422 seconds, but mainly because I was surrounded by such lighthearted and hilarious conversation (which I wish I could transcribe here, but it's far too rude).

A rainbow appeared in the sky, and I know for a fact that it was all of our loved ones looking down on us with a smile (and perhaps a laugh due to the fact that we were soaked through). I know for a fact that Georgina is going to be getting angry at this point, so I would just like to clarify that she did give me her raincoat, and it was very much appreciated! What are best friends for, hey?

At the end of the walk we were cheered on by the many amazing volunteers who had given up their Sunday to help make this event possible. The way they encouraged you was as if you had walked Kilimanjaro, which the way my Uncle acted after the walk was finished - you would've thought we did. 'Can we get a taxi home?' was amongst the reoccuring whining but, like a true Fallon, he eventually built up enough strength to proceed with the five minute journey home (on foot!!!) and I am immensely proud of him.

Free coffee and cake, and a live band was blasting fantastic renditions of absolute BANGERS was waiting for us at the venue and finish the evening off perfectly ... However, I am slightly disappointed that Abba wasn't covered, but I guess Bon Jovi made up for that!

(Excuse the shocking quality... and language - Alice aka Potty Mouth)

To round this off, a day which started with immense sadness finished with copious amounts of joy and laughter, and I am determined to volunteer to help out at this event next year. I would just like to thank everybody who walked in memory of Luke, and also the volunteers who made the Twilight Walk possible. I cannot begin to express my gratitude, and am looking forward to seeing you next year!

Love,

Grace x

I have been asked so many times 'What inspires you to write?', and aside from the obvious answer - which is because I genuinely LOVE it and am so passionate about it, another reason is because I am surrounded by such inspiration - and I feel like I have to create something in order to celebrate it. There are so many inspirational people in my life, and I genuinely would not be the person I am today without them. 

In terms of role models, I definitely have my fair share. 

I wanted to do this post so I could share with you the people who inspire me most in the world, and I believe it would help you get to know me and understand me better ... and that's a good thing, right?

So, lets start with an obvious one. I'm pretty sure I earn a few giggles here - as anyone who knows me knows that I am completely and utterly infatuated by this man... 

1) Benedict Cumberbatch

I remember the first time I watched Sherlock. I was sat in the living room with my mum and dad, and this gorgeous face popped up on the screen - and despite my mum shouting 'oh God he's pig ugly', I fell in love (thanks for ruining that precious moment, Lynne). This man is honestly the most talented actor, in my opinion, and his role in The Imitation Game is verging on perfection. What particularly inspires me about him is the level of intelligence he has. He always strives for greatness and works extremely hard to get what he wants - qualities which I'm certainly working on. If I ever had the pleasure of meeting him, which I hope that one day I will, I know for a fact that I would be an absolute hysterical MESS (and I pray that no one ever has to witness that). 

Don't we just look fabulous together?

2) Tavi Gevinson

If I'm completely honest, it was only a couple of weeks ago that I discovered Tavi Gevinson - but since watching her Ted Talk 'A teen just trying to figure it out', I have been hooked. Everything about her, from her style to her beliefs to her achievements are things which I just find so inspiring. At the age of 11 she created a fashion blog called 'The Style Rookie' and has since gone on to achieve such amazing things. Her style has always been unique, and she is definitely not afraid to be herself. I remember an interview when she said if someone at school was cruel about an outfit she was wearing, she would come in the next day wearing something even weirder. This most certainly paid off as, at 13, she was invited to sit on the Front Row at Fashion Week - which caused some controversy, yet didn't phase her at all. When she was 15 she set up her own web based magazine aimed at teenage girls called RookieMag.com, and has also tried a stunt at journalism - writing for major publications such as Elle Magazine. As an aspiring journalist myself, Tavi Gevinson is someone who I look up to massively. If I am a fraction as successful as she is by the age of 20, I would be the happiest person alive.  

3. Victoria Beckham
I feel like people are going to read this third one and be like 'What? She's a right moody b**ch'. Well, people, let me tell you - I completely aspire to be like this woman (I would smile a bit more though). Pop star turn designer, she is a very successful and dedicated business woman. Aside from that, she is a huge style icon of mine. Her classy and minimalistic outfits are an utter favourite of mine - and it amazes me how she can throw on the most basic items and create something extraordinary. I would LOVE to own something from her clothing range, but unfortunately a part time job just doesn't cover that sort of price tag (I'm dreaming though..). I would absolutely love to spend a day as Victoria Beckham, but I'm unsure as to whether I would be a fan of the 6am starts - but if I get to wake up to David Beckham I think that'll suffice.

4. My family
There is no way on Earth that I could write this post and not include the most influential people in my life - my amazing family. I am lucky enough to have a very close knit family, and am definitely my happiest when I am with them. My sister is honestly my rock, and is the strongest person I know. She is the most intelligent person I have ever met (and most annoying, but that's another story) and I know that she could do absolutely anything she sets her mind to. However, she has a massive issue with common sense, and asks the stupidest questions I have ever heard in my life, but it does make me laugh a lot so I guess it's all good.

I am lucky enough the have the most amazing parents I could ever wish for. The amount they do for us is just insane, and I don't think I could ever get to thank them enough. My mum is the most organised person I know, and always inspires me to keep things in order (let's not mention my bedroom though) and whenever I'm stressed, sad, angry or anything - she is the first person I want to speak to. My dad is the solver of all my problems, and always talks sense into me when I need it. I would be completely lost without them, and if I am half as great of a parent as they are to me, then I know I'll be fantastic. (... although the thought of having a child really does not appeal to me, sorry Mum - the 'granny draw' may never be given to the next generation).

Luke, I simply could not write this and not include you in it. I love to imagine that you're reading all of these blogs, as it was you who inspired me to create this site. Whenever I wanted to do something, yet had doubts about it, you always pushed me to just do it, and I'll never be able to thank you for that. You taught me to be happy and smiley, regardless of what is going on, and I am such a better person because of it. I hold you so dearly, my gorgeous brother, and I can't wait until we meet again. I'm eternally grateful for the light you injected in all of our lives, and what you taught us. 'Forever and always'.

So, there you go. A little insight to my biggest inspirations, who have impacted me in so many ways. Thank you so much for reading, and I'll see you next Wednesday!

Love, 
Grace x

How many times have you looked in the mirror and actually liked what you saw in the reflection staring back at you? How many times have you told yourself that you'll only be pretty if you lost a certain amount of pounds, grew your hair a bit longer or fixed the crook in your nose that no one else seems to notice but you?

I know I can't speak for everyone, but I'm assuming that everyone reading this has done that at least once or sometimes even as often as every single day.

My all time favourite episode of My Mad Fat Diary is this one (from about 24mins - 27mins). It shows Kester (Rae's therapist) teaching her to love herself, by imagining her calling a 10 year old version of herself 'Fat' and 'Ugly' - words which she uses to describe herself every day. This scene has really resonated with me ever since I watched it, and I really do think that it puts things into perspective. When you're destroying your self esteem, you're also destroying your younger self who endlessly believed in themselves and their potential. The thought of that really does break my heart.

At 10 years old, we were carefree and happy - but what changed? What made us feel inclined to hate at least one thing about ourselves? What made us feel that inevitable sadness when get when we stand in a changing room cubicle and nothing seems to look 'right'?

This definition of beauty has been adapted by society and a narrow mould has been created which is almost impossible to fit into. Apparently if we don't have a narrow waist and shapely legs then we're simply not good enough, and will never be described as 'beautiful'.

A couple of days ago, my friend (hiya Scarlz xxx) showed me an advert that she is using in her textiles project. It was from the 1950's and showed a woman moaning about how she was too skinny, and was looking at easy ways to put weight on. I couldn't help but think about how different things are nowadays, how most people are looking at 'Quick and Easy Ways' to lose weight, which sometimes even verge on being dangerous.

1950

2016

It's strange how things change.

I know women (and men) of all ages find it difficult to love themselves, yet I can't help but notice how much of a struggle it is for teenagers. At an age when you're the most vulnerable you will perhaps ever be, the way you look seems to be of every importance. Through platforms like Twitter and Instagram, we see these people with 'perfect' lives, 'perfect' figures and 'perfect' skin. Subconsciously, we are comparing ourselves to them, and looking at what they have that we don't.

When you really think about it, makeup/skincare or any other beauty brands almost promote self hate, just so they can make money out of it. You HAVE to wear mascara because it'll make your eyelashes look longer, you HAVE to buy our new nail varnish because it'll make you look nicer and you HAVE to buy this face wash because it'll make your spots go away overnight.

As a highly talented procrastinator, on a night where I was supposed to be getting through a mountain of work, I instead resulted to watching random videos. This resulted in me stumbling across a channel named 'Style like U' - 'a mother-daughter team leading a movement that empowers people to accept and express their true selves'. I was immediately drawn to a video featuring Melanie Gaydos called 'Beauty Is a State of Being'. (here) I had never actually heard of Melanie before, but I'm so glad I know about her now, as she has since become someone who I massively look up to and admire. The video is utterly beautiful in every sense of the word, and I really do encourage you all to watch it.

The song 'Toothbrush' by DNCE features the well renowned plus size model Ashley Graham. After doing some research through social media, I found a link to her TED talk ( here ) which is, without a doubt, one of the most amazing things I have ever watched. The way she words everything she speaks about is just fantastic, and it was so encouraging to see someone who was so comfortable with who they are - who has risen from the challenges she has faced, and defied expectations of shallow people who told her that she would 'never make it'.

If you take anything at all from this blog post, I'd love it to be this - You ARE enough, you ARE beautiful and the only thing that could ever be ugly about you is the way in which you belittle yourself. At the end of the day, 'Beauty is a state of being' and no matter how physically 'flawless' you are, if you're a horrible person then it accounts for absolutely nothing.

So eat that donut, wear that dress and when you walk past a mirror find something you love. Life is way too short to go about hating yourself.

Love,
Grace x

Doing things by myself is something that I find a tad boring. I enjoy chatting to people and having company therefore I much prefer to do things in big groups or at least with one other person.

Today was an exception.

When the opportunity came up for me to go and look round the BBC studios at Media City, I didn't care whether I'd have someone to go with me or not - I simply had to do it. (Although I did mess things up a bit when I got off the tram at the wrong stop).

After walking the distance equivalent of two tram stops, I rewarded myself with a coffee and a little read of my book.

Looking round the BBC was everything I had hoped for and more. It really was amazing to see how much effort goes into even the tiniest little thing - for example, a lovely news presenter (Jessica Creighton) had to record the same bulletin twice because the team decided that they didn't like a picture they used in one of their cutaway clips.

I don't quite know why, but I expected everyone there to be a little snobby and pretentious yet I couldn't have been more wrong. Every single person I came across was so lovely, and had the time to chat to me and explain exactly what it was that they were doing.

Teamwork played a massive role - without everyone cooperating and pulling their weight, the show simply couldn't go on (as cliché as that sounds, it's so unbelievably true)

I don't want to get all hideously cringey, but this visit honestly inspired me so much, and has given me such an incentive to work hard to achieve my dreams. I walked around Manchester for the rest of the day with a massive smile plastered to my face - definitely looking like the biggest weirdo around town.

Side note : I've got no pictures of inside the actual BBC Quay House building, which I would love to excuse by saying 'go and visit it for yourself, it's worth it' (which it certainly is !!)  ... But my real excuse is that I was so in awe and full of excitement that I didn't even think to take my phone out my bag. Sometimes it's about living in the moment, without feeling inclined to capture it.

Because I was already in Manchester, I thought I should take full advantage of it and have a little
wander around. I stopped off at Paperchase cafe - a recent find of mine (surely i'm not the only who has only just realised these exist?!) and had a bit of lunch sat all on my lonesome *violins begin to play*.

Sitting by myself and eating a cheese and tomato toastie (which I, as usual, picked the cheese off of) is something which up until this point I regarded as weird and sad, but it actually felt so nice to sit and gather my thoughts without having some nutcase sat opposite me blabbering on about God knows what (.... sorry Alice, but I really do not care about what pens you want to buy!)

I then made my way to Manchester Art Gallery to look at the Vogue 100 Exhibition - something that I have always been meaning to do, yet never got round to doing so. There's definitely a certain satisfaction to spontaneously doing something you've always wanted to.

The exhibition itself was incredible, and it was so interesting to see the evolution of the most iconic fashion magazine and also realise just how much major events can influence style. (SN : you weren't allowed to take pictures)

Alongside this celebration of Vogue, another exhibition was being shown downstairs. Titled 'Fashion & Freedom', it showed pieces from many different designers' which were inspired by women's liberation. One of my favourite pieces EVER was the beautiful yellow creation below. The yellow of the dress was inspired by the Canary Girls - the title given to women who were being exposed to the toxin TNT which resulted in their skin turning a yellowy colour. The piece also incorporates trousers which is used to signify the struggle women had to go through to be allowed to wear trousers to work.

(I just had to buy a postcard of it, I thought what it represented was truly beautiful)

All in all, I've had one of the best days I've had for a very very VERY long time and am currently sat at home feeling unusually satisfied and proud of myself.

♥Hope you're having a lovely week♥

Love,
Grace x

Thinking about the future is something that I find both incredibly exciting yet terrifying at the same time. From a young age we are told that everything we do dictates our future - whether that be the options we choose to study or the grades that we achieve at the end.

I know that "we're in control of our own destiny" and all that jazz, but something we have absolutely no control over is the hurdles that we are going to face in the next five or ten years, which I believe play a massive part in influencing the path we take and where we end up.

For as long as I can remember, my dream has been to live in London with a pet bulldog named Princess, yet what if in the next few years I develop an allergy to dogs or decide that living in miserable England just isn't doing it for me anymore?

Looking back just a year ago, so much has happened that I never ever EVER thought would. One particular thing that I never expected is that I would actually be considering going to University. For someone who has always said that they're "not clever enough to go to Uni", I have spent hours over the past month looking at University courses that interest me and checking out when the open days are.

Although I have come such a long way in believing in myself and my capabilities, that still doesn't mean that I find the process any less daunting - it all seems like a massive decision to be making at such a young age (especially for someone who takes at least double the 'normal' time to make tiny little decisions). Student loans, fees and accommodation all appear to be so complicated to me, and it makes me feel so incredibly lucky that I have parents who are willing to help me understand / sort out all of that.

Not going to University is something that is viewed as strange, and a rebellion against the social norm. "Which uni do you think you'll go to?", "What course are you going to study?" and "Have you been to any open days?" are an example of questions which I have been asked repeatedly over the past couple of months.

Don't get me wrong, I would absolutely LOVE to go to University, and I know that I would be so proud of myself for accomplishing that - but I don't think that it is something that should be necessarily expected and assumed amongst modern day society, particularly when there's so many other options you can consider.

A paid apprenticeship is something that I have been looking into, as this both eliminates the massive student debt you come out with at the end of University, and also gives you hands on experience of the real working world.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

I know that in order to be successful, you need to work hard - and I'm definitely not one to be lazy when it comes to achieving my goals, yet sometimes it feels a shame that we're going to spend such a massive percentage of the last year of being with the people we've known for a huge chunk of our lives stressing about what's going to happen if we don't send in our personal statements on time, or if we don't score full marks on a practise paper.

There's so many stories I've heard about people getting so ill from the stress of all of this, and it does make me question whether it's worth it. Is it worth sleepless nights, random floods of tears or even stress hives?  (don't google them if you've got a weak stomach)..

At the end of the day, something I have to keep telling myself is that grades are not everything. I am completely aware how hypocritical that is, especially because I had an absolute meltdown over my predicted grades, but it actually breaks my heart that so many people think letters on a sheet of paper define who they are.

Life is definitely waaaaaay too short to worry about things like that.

Thank you so much for reading my little rant, it's just something that's been on my mind recently.

♥ See you next Wednesday ♥

Love,
Grace x