I know that "we're in control of our own destiny" and all that jazz, but something we have absolutely no control over is the hurdles that we are going to face in the next five or ten years, which I believe play a massive part in influencing the path we take and where we end up.
For as long as I can remember, my dream has been to live in London with a pet bulldog named Princess, yet what if in the next few years I develop an allergy to dogs or decide that living in miserable England just isn't doing it for me anymore?
Looking back just a year ago, so much has happened that I never ever EVER thought would. One particular thing that I never expected is that I would actually be considering going to University. For someone who has always said that they're "not clever enough to go to Uni", I have spent hours over the past month looking at University courses that interest me and checking out when the open days are.
Although I have come such a long way in believing in myself and my capabilities, that still doesn't mean that I find the process any less daunting - it all seems like a massive decision to be making at such a young age (especially for someone who takes at least double the 'normal' time to make tiny little decisions). Student loans, fees and accommodation all appear to be so complicated to me, and it makes me feel so incredibly lucky that I have parents who are willing to help me understand / sort out all of that.
Not going to University is something that is viewed as strange, and a rebellion against the social norm. "Which uni do you think you'll go to?", "What course are you going to study?" and "Have you been to any open days?" are an example of questions which I have been asked repeatedly over the past couple of months.
Don't get me wrong, I would absolutely LOVE to go to University, and I know that I would be so proud of myself for accomplishing that - but I don't think that it is something that should be necessarily expected and assumed amongst modern day society, particularly when there's so many other options you can consider.
A paid apprenticeship is something that I have been looking into, as this both eliminates the massive student debt you come out with at the end of University, and also gives you hands on experience of the real working world.
Decisions, decisions, decisions.
I know that in order to be successful, you need to work hard - and I'm definitely not one to be lazy when it comes to achieving my goals, yet sometimes it feels a shame that we're going to spend such a massive percentage of the last year of being with the people we've known for a huge chunk of our lives stressing about what's going to happen if we don't send in our personal statements on time, or if we don't score full marks on a practise paper.
There's so many stories I've heard about people getting so ill from the stress of all of this, and it does make me question whether it's worth it. Is it worth sleepless nights, random floods of tears or even stress hives? (don't google them if you've got a weak stomach)..
At the end of the day, something I have to keep telling myself is that grades are not everything. I am completely aware how hypocritical that is, especially because I had an absolute meltdown over my predicted grades, but it actually breaks my heart that so many people think letters on a sheet of paper define who they are.
Life is definitely waaaaaay too short to worry about things like that.
Thank you so much for reading my little rant, it's just something that's been on my mind recently.
♥ See you next Wednesday ♥
Love,
Grace x
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